A really bad Vegas magic show

A couple of years ago CP and I decided we wanted to see the brand new Cris Angel/Cirque du Soleil show,  Believe. Neither one of us are big Angel fans and I hadn't seen any CDS shows (CP had see O), but this was a new Vegas Magic show so we made plans.

I looked around and scored a pair of seats to the third show in the preview run. The seats were in the fifth row from the stage and we were right on the aisle. Everything was golden. We booked the rooms. We booked the flights. We booked the rental car. We were ready.

A couple of weeks later I get a refund from the Luxor on my card. The show was pushed back. I'm back on the phone and I get us the same seats for the third preview show. We were able to move our flights (thanks old SWA) and rebook our rooms. The folks at the Luxor box office even gave us a couple of buffet passes and two tickets to Carrot Top to make up for the hassle. Nice. Basically everything is the same just three weeks later and we get food and Carrot Top for free!

Another week or two goes by and the same shit happens again... There are still delays and the show is not ready. On the phone again, rebook both show tickets, re-book flights, re-book rooms, re-book rental car. Pain in the ASS! This time the CDS folks gave us two tickets to Love to make up for the second hassle. Nice, but this is getting old.

The trip finally comes. I refuse to read any of the reviews. I want to go in to the show with no knowledge other than "New Vegas Magic Show". And I wanted it to kick my ass!

We walk in to the theater and it is pretty amazing. The hall that leads up to it (where they are having people leave their cell phones and cameras, oy...) is really cool. It has a bunch of illusions on the sides and as you move by, you see different things. Impressive. The theater is a steam punk fan's wet dream. All kind of ornate clock styled pieces and rabbits, lots of rabbits.

Since it's CDS there are clowns running all round the room. The lead guy, Maestro gave me his business card. It says "Maestro, Magician/Illusionist, Luxor Las Vegas." pretty cool. One of the other guys was about to give me a big bear hug but a bell rang to start the show and they all ran up to the stage.

Cris comes out on stage and talks a little. He pulls up a sheet and suddenly he is unzipping a fat suit in the audience, one step below our seats. CP and I were knocked out! Really cool room. "Business Card" from someone in the show. The first trick ends up almost in our laps! How could this go wrong?!!!

It would go wrong in a lot of ways...

Really bad tricks performed by a bad magician. Several dance numbers. SEVERAL!!! One included a break dance contest between the three clowns and Cris (four clowns?). And then he lip synced the theme song to his TV show.

It really was horrible.

When he was sawed in half you could see the trap door his legs were tucked into. A woman came out of his stomach and you could see the light from where she was coming from the side. The birds were moving under the cloak they "appeared" from. And on and on. I don't even want to get in to the whole pure/innocent little white dancer vs the mean/evil black dancer thing. It's not just racist, it's lame third grade storytelling.

So it's been a few years and I hear there is no dancing and it's pretty much all magic now. But considering how lame of a magician he is, that can't be a good thing.

We won't be going back.